I know I've so long been away from you. Things changed except me. "Leave me something unchangeable at least," I said. "Anything?" You asked. "Like a picture or something, I think." "Well then. Just take a picture from me everyday." "Deal." Then the winter sunshine through my window. It was just beautiful. It was as beautiful as every single day in my life.
I remenbered that day,
the day I caught you smiled to me.
You were hiding behind the bottle of perfume.
Suddenly I remembered that it's the best thing I done these years.
To make you smile.
Playing now:
Antony and the Johnsons "Fistfull of Love"
from the album 'I am a Bird Now'
“ 昨天我躺在床上 I was lying in my bed last night 凝視滿天花板的星星 Staring at a ceiling full of stars
我們都活在時間的照片中 We live together in a photograph of time 我望進你的雙眼 I look into your eyes 海為我而開 And the seas open up to me ”
在那部李奧納科恩紀念音樂會「我是你的男人」紀錄電影中,看到Antony唱歌是種揪心的經驗,他翻唱的是『If It Be Your Will』這首歌,用他溫和又悲哀的中音唱著:『如果這是你的意願,要我唱歌…』(If it be your will, to let me sing),他邊顫抖著,邊唱出掛在語尾的一絲淒美顫音,唱歌的姿態有如傾盡全部情感,這是歌中臣服、迫於無奈的哀愁,也是屬於Antony特有的黑暗小宇宙,只要聽過一次,你就能辨別的黯然美學:美麗的孤寂、美麗的失敗,即使醜陋如嫉羨,也是失敗者的華麗想像。
I am thinking and feeling how very fragile life is. All life. Even life that you thought was the strongest thing in the world, suddenly it seems very fragile. With people shooting things, flying around in planes and bungee jumping all over the place. I want to learn about how fragile all the world is. I want to learn about it, so I can try to help it.
影像出自電影「超脫末日」 葛斯范桑編導 Image clips from the film 'Last Days' written and directed by Gus Van Sant
選文出自小說「粉紅」 葛斯范桑著 Quotations from the novel 'Pink' by Gus Van Sant
"Are you awake yet?" I remenber an early morning voice had said to me months and months ago. "No," I said. It was a young man's voice. "Then I'll call you back later." Just as he said that I realized the voice belonged to Felix. Click. If I had known that it was going to be the last time I would ever hear his voice again, I would have woken up. Ashes. We all falldown. Someday. "I'll call you back later," Felix said. He never called back.
影像出自電影「超脫末日」 葛斯范桑編導 Image clips from the film 'Last Days' written and directed by Gus Van Sant
選文出自小說「粉紅」 葛斯范桑著 Quotations from the novel 'Pink' by Gus Van Sant
Blake had been repeating the plane's departure time at seven-thirty in the evening, gate sixteen, over and over again in his head so he wouldn't forget.
His blond hair jostled out of the way as he looked up at signs that guided the traffic to the right, into a circle of confusion which was Friday airport traffic. He was beautiful. He had the most beautiful eyes. And he had the most beautiful confused look on his face.
影像出自電影「超脫末日」 葛斯范桑編導 Image clips from the film 'Last Days' written and directed by Gus Van Sant
選文出自小說「粉紅」 葛斯范桑著 Quotations from the novel 'Pink' by Gus Van Sant
在Field Music唱著的「Do something different...You are not supposed to...」歌聲中,我開始懷疑起要寫的主題。選什麼2006最喜歡的十張專輯?當我回顧這一年,和其他許多年一樣,我聽的永遠都不夠,而且今年愛聽的總是去年出的。然後又因為每年都這樣想,老是沒能趕搭十大熱潮。
你搭上一輛巴士。 You take a bus. 坐在窗邊,看著。 You sat in the window, staring.
有什麼東西從面前經過了。 There are something passing by. 你不確定是否為你的過去。 You are not sure if it's your past.
夜是不可視的。 The night is invisible. 一切看來遙不可及。 Everything looked far away. 如此遙遠,如此親近。 So far away, so close.
突然你按了下車鈴並離開巴士。 Suddenly you push the bell and getting off the bus. 你把夜拋在身後。 You left the night behind. 一碗甜湯圓等著你。 A sweet dumplings soup is wating for you. 而那會很溫曖。 And it's warm.
「Bounce」每一期都有一張形象廣告,請日本音樂人來拍照,而上面的標題永遠只有一個,「No Music, No Life」。不知不覺,這些廣告等於拍下日本樂壇歷年來的縮影,音樂人在照片裡上演著生活劇碼,包括在草地上踢球、在小酒店裡歡唱卡拉OK,或抬起頭來賞櫻…等等,早期戲演得比較誇張,像是樂團成員中暑了結果被松隆子澆醒之類。這些照片,的確是比那些演唱會上、錄音室裡千篇一律的好看多了。
Schubert: Im Frühling, D882 Ian Bostridge Tenor Julius Drake Piano
少年掏出清澈的心, 他的告白是甜美的旋律, 他的話語淌著鮮紅的淚。
Ian Bostridge那樣不滲雜質的男高音,根本不像從二十世紀而來,然而是Julius Drake溫和而稱職的鋼琴伴奏,賦予這首短小歌曲獨特的生命。你可以聽見在歌者與鋼琴之間真的在對話,男高音唱出Schubert藝術歌曲的青春哀愁,當歌聲暫歇,一直在旁附和的鋼琴才輕輕安慰個幾句,當然,既不過份黏膩,也絕不責備或搶話。老朋友才知道的溫柔陪伴。
黑線走來,繞著圈圈。
The black line comes, circling round. 一個圈,兩個圈,線條糊成一團,
One line joins the other, 變成一個圓。
and they became round. 一大團黑色的塊狀物。
A big black circle.
一點,兩點,繞著圓圈點,
One drop, two drops, around the circle, 變成一座黑與白的花園。and they became a black and white garden. 一座迷路的花園。
A garden has lost its way.
Scott Walker "Cossacks Are" from the album ' The Drift' (4AD, 2006)
『除非有新專輯發行,否則Scott Walker不接受訪問。』
Richie Unterberger在寫他的書「無人知曉的搖滾傳奇」(Unknown Legends of Rock 'n' Roll)時,Scott Walker的經理如此回絕他的採訪。1998年這本書出版了,作者在書中寫道,Walker上兩張專輯間隔了整整11年,從1984年的「Climate of Hunter」之後,要到1995年才發行了「Tilt」,作者說,要採訪難道得等到2006年?
1970年的「Til the Band Comes In」帶Scott Walker一腳跨進70年代,也告別了所謂的大眾。那個俊美陰沈的偶像就這樣消失了,同樣的歌聲唱著粉絲難以想像的歌曲。如今Scott Walker把搖滾拋在腦後,取而代之的,是馬勒、梅湘與潘德瑞茨基這些古典作曲家。
1984年的「Climate of Hunter」讓Scott Walker沒有錯過80年代,但也沒有引起多大迴響。你可以說他也許是領先時代,提早走向前衛、走向歌德。沈寂了11年後苦盡甘來,1995年的「Tilt」大受好評,也為他帶來與法國導演卡霍合作的機會,為1999年的電影「寶拉X」(Pola X)製作配樂。
「27俱樂部」一詞源於流行文化,意指好幾個天才般的搖滾巨星,都如流星般劃過天際,旋即於短時間內因濫用藥物等因素致死,同樣都死於27歲。(原文出自維基百科) The "27 Club" is a popular culture reference to a group of several talented rock musicians, each of whom had a meteoric rise to success that was cut short by a drug-related death at age 27. (From Wikipedia)
這些人是:The musicians are: Jimi Hendrix Janis Joplin Jim Morrison(以上又稱搖滾史上「3J」,相繼死於1970年) Kurt Cobain
既然沒當上搖滾巨星,也不再是二十七歲了,很可惜加入俱樂部未果。 好吧,至少我可以請他們為我唱首生日歌。 Since I am not a rock star, nor 27 years old, I've lost the chance to join the club. Well, at least I can ask them to sing a song for my birthday.
Janis Joplin "Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)"
我將試著,試著更努力一點 所以我才能給、給、給、給他我的每一塊靈魂
我絕不會失去我的機會,不,我不會失去它 絕不失去把你變成我的機會,全部屬於我
Yeah, I'm gonna try yeah, just a little bit harder So I can give, give, give, give him every bit of my soul
I ain't gonna lose my chance, no I don't wanna lose it Ain't gonna lose my chance to make you mine, all mine
The Doors "The End" (Live version)
這就是結束 我唯一的朋友
你能想像那將會 多麼不受限制與自由
來吧寶貝,把握機會跟隨我們 我們藍色巴士後面見
真難過必須釋放你 但你永遠不會跟我來 終結笑聲與溫柔的謊言 終結那些我們試著死去的夜晚 這就是結束
This is the end My only friend
Can you picture what will be So limitless and free
C'mon baby, take a chance with us And meet me at the back of the blue bus
It hurts to set you free But you'll never follow me The end of laughter and soft lies The end of nights we tried to die This is the end
“我們辛勞工作卻一無所獲” 刻在亞美尼亞Garni羅馬浴池的文字。 “Work and gain nothing” A Greek inscription in the bath-house of Garni. (Perhaps by a slave.)
When I couldn't do without alcohol, I drove myself on alcohol, When I couldn't do without cigarettes and coffee, I drove myself On cigarettes and coffee. I was courageous. Industrious. Nearly a model of virtue. But that is good for nothing.
Please, Medicine Man, I feel a pain.
I have read many books but I don't believe them.
Send your second soul beyond the mountains, beyond time. Tell me what you saw, I will wait.
(English translation by http://www.poemhunter.com)
“等待狗頭” 貝克特的兩幕悲喜劇 “Waiting for Godot” A Tragicomedy in Two Acts by Samuel Beckett
包宙: (突然憤怒)夠了沒有?一直用你那鬼時間來戲弄我!可惡透了!什麼時候!什麼時候!有一天,這還不夠嗎?有一天他變啞巴,有一天我瞎了,有一天我們會耳聾,有一天我們出生,有一天我們會死亡,同一天,同一秒,這還不夠嗎?(平靜些)他們跨著墳墓出生,光線微弱的照耀一剎那,然後又是夜晚。 (賴聲川譯) POZZO: (suddenly furious.) Have you not done tormenting me with your accursed time! It's abominable! When! When! One day, is that not enough for you, one day he went dumb, one day I went blind, one day we'll go deaf, one day we were born, one day we shall die, the same day, the same second, is that not enough for you? (Calmer.) They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more.
“笑” 選自丹.羅茲的書「人類學與一百篇故事」 “Laughing” by Dan Rhodes from his book 'Anthropology and a Hundred Other Stories'
“自由” 選自卡洛斯.富安蒂斯的書「我相信」 “FREEDOM” by Carlos Fuentes from his book 'This I Believe: An A to Z of A Life'
在生與死,在世界上的美麗與醜惡之間,我們為了追求自由而活,不管處在任何情況之中,自由而不能限制。 Between life and death, between the beauty and the horror of the world, the quest for freedom is what makes us, no matter what the circumstance, free.
“寫作” 莒哈絲如是說 “Writing” by Marguerite Duras
離開寫作時的那種孤獨,作品就不會誕生,或者支離破碎,毫無生氣,不知如何發展下去。
摘自莒哈絲文集「寫作」。(曹德明譯,春風文藝出版社)
The solitude of writing is a solitude without which writing could not be produced, or would crumble, drained bloodless by the search for something else to write.
“無技能且不知曉: 體認個人無能之困難如何引發過度膨脹的自我評價” 2000年搞笑諾貝爾心理學獎得主 “Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments” A research by David Dunning and Justin Kreuger, the winner of 2000 Ig® Nobel Psychology Prize